First I want to
say Happy Father's Day to all the fathers!!!! And as they say in the
church, First giving honor to God, who is my Heavenly Father, my earthly
Father Rev. Lucius C. Luther, and Papa Jack, my Godfather, I want to
just take a few moments to muse about fathers.
I loved
my dad, all of his qualities, the good and the bad. He has gone on to
be with his heavenly Father, but he left his legacy in my face, in my
heart, and the indelible imprint in my life. He was the best dad he
knew how to be and he loved his children, all of them. Our trip to the
fairgrounds, just he and I, to make up for something that he realized he
had wrong. Silly things he did like making you hunt for the hidden
coin when he came home, jumping out of that Campbell 66 rig, or pulling
that trick to make smoke come out his eyes with the cigar. I celebrate
his life and contributions to mine today. I still go to a tobacconist
from time to time to walk into a humidor just to smell the aroma of
cigars, because it reminds me of my daddy. So honor and praises to you
today daddy, Happy Father's Day!
I don't intend to
spend this note with a lot of sentimental nostalgic memory lane stuff
about my dad. Just bear with me for a moment because I am focused on
fathers today, by the media, by the calendar, by my own internal light.
You see, I know a lot of really great fathers like Dwight, Nate, Ron,
Von, Tommy, Donald, Terrance, and Daw'u, just to name a few. I know
almost as many not so great fathers, who I shall not name. But one of
the thoughts that keeps coming to me, is the kind of father our children
need, is a father like the President of these United States, Father
Barack Obama. I am just so enamored by the level of involvement he has
with his children, notwithstanding having one of the most demanding jobs
in the world. So, then I started trying to figure out what it is for
me, that speaks so profoundly to me about their relationship, and I get
it. It is the time, the appearance of care, the appearance of
nurturing, the open affection and the personal investment in their
development that strikes and resonates with me. The pictures of time
with the kids, of activities with the kids, even something as simple as
watching tv with them, all hugged up. The pictures of him coaching a
daughter's athletic team or playing with them in the park, dinner with
his family, com'on, you got to admit they are great warm fuzzy photos.
And what I really love are all the pictures from long before he was
running for office, long before he was a senator, long before he was the
president. He said it, I believe he meant it, and I believe he has it
right: Being a father is the most important job I have ever had.
Don't
get me wrong, I don't think that he walks on water as a father. I
think he is setting an example for the country, and particularly African
American fathers, what it really looks like and means to be a father.
And again, don't get me wrong, he is learning as he goes along, fumbling
and bumbling along the way all while investing all that he can think to
invest, doing all that he can think to do, making it up as he goes
along, and being the best father he can imagine being. And I say being
the best father he can imagine being because as he said at the
commencement at Morehouse, he didn't have a role model in his father.
His father was substantially absent in his life. But look how he turned
out, he turned out pretty good, absentee father and all. Just imagine,
if it is even conceivable, how much more he might have been with an
exemplary father there in his life day in and day out, reaffirming that
he was loved, a valuable human being, a brilliant child, an awesome
person and a gift from God. Think what that would do for all the
children with absentee fathers.
Now before all this makes you ill, let
me just say, its important, because just as we celebrate Father's Day
today, we have to celebrate our fathers who are really doing the work of
parenting and fathering day in and day out. And I count our President
among them. And you know, given the statistics and the media attention to the lack of or rather the perceived lack of fathering taking place among African American men, it is refreshing and awe inspiring to watch as the President tries to get it right. It's not just the time and investment thing that gets me, its the grace under fire, the tempered and respectfulness when disagreeing with someone, it is the enduring patience and the honor toward women. All of those things add to the almost mysticism of our President living out loud his perception of what it means to be a father. When I think back to my history lessons, from long ago, and search my recent memories of stories in the press, I can't think of even one other glaring example, and I mean glaring, example of fatherhood that has been so scrutinized, examined, dissected, and analyzed. And yet, even with all that scrutiny he still stands tall and exemplifies what a father role model looks like. So to all of the fabulous fathers like the President, today
and tomorrow, and all of the fathers trying to be that kind of father, I
say: Happy Fabulous Wonderful and many other Superlative Father's
Day!!!!!! And to the rest, I wish you Happy Father's Day and another day
to work at trying to get it right, in my lifetime!!!
